An interesting series of events have occurred for the past few months. The occurrences have increased in proximity and relativity.
I feel like I’m writing in code. But my brain is somewhat on overload. Writing Friday’s post about connecting the dots merely pushed me over the edge.
Maybe you can help me sort this thing out…
In the year 2000, or so, an idea surfaced. It truly was from nowhere. From it bore a desire to pursue a task in which I had no prior knowledge or interest. I thought maybe it was a fluke. Some sort of harebrain idea. I decided to let it go.
But it didn’t let me go….
The idea from Clue #1 stayed. I couldn’t rid myself of this underlying thought. The idea. It hung around for so long that I couldn’t figure out how to lose it. Thus, I decided to ignore it.
Yes, ignore. What else was I to do?
Taking on the task was out of the question because…well…I had no idea where to start. Unlike my previous business ventures where I was a service provider I found this idea unnerving. It would cause me to be a servant to others in a capacity foreign to me.
I decided…go back to solution #1 until it worked….let it go…
I am running full speed ahead. But I can’t shake this thing. I try to appease it be helping people here and there. But oh no, that was NOT good enough.
What’s a girl to do? What’s a girl who is tired of run do?
Solution #2: Stop and ask. Lord, what would you have me to do?
And Here I Am…
Here we are really…
I am writing…helping…coaching…
You are reading…thinking…engaging…
I’d hate to admit that beyond my Superwoman powers (smile) I think in this respect I’m frozen in fear. I think I’ll do whatever you ask but that… Afraid of the what ifs…
But when I stopped running I paused and looked to Him, head knelt in submission and embarrassment. Because the truth is I was hoping He would say oh no Dana not that… But my heart was hoping oh yes Dana it’s time for that, it’s long overdue…
Doors began to crack open slowly but not how I’d hoped. It could be that I’m moving too slow. I’m looking for assurance that does not exist. I need to leap in faith where I’d like to tiptoe to ensure the coast is clear.
Then I found a quote I saved from Steven Job:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.”
I trust God.
And as I allowed the moment to settle in I had other exterior confirmations…
I think it’s time to stop insulting God with my feeble attempts and trust Him fully.
Risking…my shameful pride.
Risking…looking like a fool.
But in return having the potential of being one step closer to Him.
Question: What do you think? Help your sister out.