I’m selfish.

I’d like to think it’s because I grew up in an environment of limited resources. We had a small house, which meant I shared a room with my two sisters for most of our childhood. And for many of those years we shared a bed. At one time we had five people sleeping in one full size bed.

Wow…that takes me down memory lane.

In sharing a room with my sisters it meant I shared nearly everything. And sharing everything ignited something in my gut that said “I want my own.”

I wanted my own space.

My own bed.

My own room.

My own stuff.

I’m not writing to say this is right or wrong. I’m taking you on a short journey. You see, during my social hiatus I had time to think. A lot of time to think. Who knew I spent so much time on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and such. But I did.

Again, I’d like to think it was because it was necessary. Don’t all the big gurus in business and online like to dictate what is necessary to grow a business, or an audience.

For the sake of keeping this post focused I’ll admit I started blogging because I was selfish. I wanted my own space. My own platform. My own stuff.

Man…this post is making me sweat.

In defense of my reasoning, I want to believe it’s for a good reason. Actually, a great reason. I know why I am here. [highlight1 variation=”teal”]I know my purpose[/highlight1]. But knowing and actually believing you are living that existence is sometimes fuzzy.

It’s fuzzy because to live our purpose we are told you have to do this…and do that…be here…go there. You know the drill.

So I did this…and I did that…I went there…and so on. But when I stopped to take it all in I was no closer than when I began. At least it felt that way in my heart. Until I realized I was doing a whole lot yet was I trusting and believing that He would be true to His promise?

Oh man…I’m really sweating now.

[pullquote3 quotes=”true” align=”center” variation=”teal” cite=”Jeremiah 29:11″]For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.[/pullquote3] (Read it.)

The Plan

In a nutshell, my purpose and His plans must be one. In my life I want nothing less than His greatest hope and desires for my life.

I could take us down a long journey and chat about God’s sovereignty, free will, our part in the mix. But the truth is we don’t know half of what we think we know. I mean “we” as human beings.

The word says His thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8). Thus, to my logical brain this means just when I think I have Him all figured out….WHAM… Think again.

This is the story of life. [pullquote1 quotes=”true” align=”right” variation=”teal”]But the truth is we don’t know half of what we think we know.[/pullquote1]

So what does this mean Dana?

In my time away I spent more time reading, praying, spending time with my family. I spent more time with people. I slowed down and let the moments be the moments. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Today, I can say my selfish reasons for blogging have changed. This doesn’t mean I have it all figured out. However, my heart’s desire is to know and understand what it means to serve.

We can let our lives be that of a servant in many ways. I want this blog to be an extension of my service in my daily life. I serve many women whether in my time, my listening, my loving on them, my being the source of tough love. I serve when I teach, I mentor, I write, I speak.

I am still doing a whole lot. But I am now trusting and believing that He has me exactly where I need to be. That I’m reaching those that need to read this. That I’m living the plan He has for me.

[pullquote1 quotes=”true” align=”center” variation=”teal”]We can’t get so busy doing that we are not in relationship with God.[/pullquote1]

But…

This is a HUGE but…

My trust and belief is anchored to my relationship with Him. We can’t get so busy doing that we are not in relationship with God. Things get wacky, distorted, unbalanced when we take our eyes off of Christ.

My time has been greatly beneficial. I pray the meditations of my heart have been pleasing and acceptable in His sight. This is my public declaration to be (truly be) about my Father’s business.

Stay tuned…

[signoff]

 

 

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